| The Fear Of Failure When Catching Your Reflection. |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|07:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silverstein "Smile In Your Sleep" | ] |
I feel your silhouette frame my face and I drift towards thoughts of late night conversations and the deafening sounds of silence. How could I leave? Leave you all alone with the warmth of my hand, no one to catch if you would ever fall. How could I? How could I let myself get so selfish? I know your here but you seem so distant. Laying here with you is too much to take, I know you wish to be next to heartbeats where you dare not sleep, but instead you’re here with me, am I that transparent? I need you something terrible. If you leave I would be nothing but a shell of myself. Do you know? I don’t think you understand. I might have taken a lot from you, but I’ve give so much up for the sake of us. When I whisper I love you all you hear is that on heartbeat. When I touch you feel nothing, yet you stay, you stay and torture me? When I look into your eyes I see someone else staring back at me. I know I was wrong before but I won’t leave again, I won’t and still that one heartbeat beats strong and it drowns out anything I could ever say to make you stay all the perfect words seem so wrong now. With every breath you take you give me the burdens bitter taste. Your lips provide a shelter for the things that I don’t know. Your eyes were once warm and welcoming now they meet me with an agonizing stare which you swear is love. Why must we play this game? Is it really necessary? I have been around the world searched high and low to find out what love truly means and what it has in store for you and I. All I received was blank stares and unanswered questions. I would work my whole life to make it right with you but if you only hear that one heartbeat there is not much that I could say to change your mind, my pretty words and wit have failed me once again. That heartbeat will slowly grow weak and you’ll find you were living a lie and when you come crawling back to me, I’ll leave the window cracked and the light on. |
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| My Unhappy Sixteenth |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:27 am] |
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My sweet sixteen is coming up and i have to say hat i thought it would be greater than it is, i don't feel any different. I mean my life is starting to spiral down, its not getting any better. i mean i have sworn off relationships yet i feel so alone. i need someone hat will be there for e whenever. i know i have friends for that but i need a different thing, you know like a relationship. But i have been hurt so much i'm not sure if i can do it all again. I know i set myself up fr being hurt but i just can't help it i always fall for the wrong guy. What should i do? |
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| I fell in love in hell |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:25 am] |
Look closely every moment every movement that she makes is
what the angels do, the angels do
I can see her crossing her perfection with deception
like the angels do, the angels do
I
See it in her eyes
Soon enough I'll lie
By myself
And I
See it in her eyes
Soon enough I'll lie
By myself
And I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
And it is simply so distressing
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
And it is simply so distressing
Slowly I surrender to the serpent her agenda
Is what the devils do, the devils do
Merely with a smile she begins to set the fire
Like the devils do, the devils do
I see it in her eyes
Soon enough I'll lie
By myself
And I
See it in her eyes
Soon enough I'll lie
By myself
And I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
And it is simply so distressing
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
I fell in love in hell
And it is simply so distressing |
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| ????? |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:22 am] |
In my home
They put so many pictures of me
And I live
In hopes that I can live up to me
And I'm just
As grim as I could possibly be
In my head
Where the saddest king reigns supreme
This time
I wanna find
A hope in me as big as
The stars in my eyes
This time
I wanna find
A hope in me as big as
The stars in my eyes
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly
In my home
They put so many pictures of me
And I stand
Alone upon on a hill of debris
And I've seen
As much as I could possibly see
In the land
Of blind the one-eyed man is the king
This time
I wanna find
A hope in me as big as
The stars in my eyes
This time
I wanna find
A hope in me as big as
The stars in my eyes
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly
It's a mystery how I keep my head
Over water and out of bed
And it's a wonder how I keep my feet
On the ground and walking under me
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly
Our hearts
Our hearts
Breathe the same as dirty fiction
Look the same as dirty fiction
Honestly (repeat) |
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| This is my heart in your hands |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:08 am] |
It's days like these, that make me feel
like I want to bleed through my heart again
It's days like these, that make me feel
like I might as well be on my own again
I take back everything I said about loving you
Now that you've left me on the ground
I can fly away to someone new
Don't pretend like I don't know you're untrue
I never meant to bring you down
nothing but good intentions
I never meant to bring you down
It's days like these, that make me feel
Like I want to bleed through my heart again
It's days like these, that make me feel
Like I might as well be on my own again
I take back everything I said about loving you
Now that you've left me on the ground
I can fly away to someone new
Don't pretend like I don't know you're untrue
I never meant to bring you down
Nothing but good intentions
I never meant to bring you down
Take it back (Take it back)
This time (This time)
I'll just move on
I'll just move on
Take it back (Take it back)
This time (This time)
I'll just move on
I'll just move on
Take my heart (Take my heart)
Make it gray (Make it gray)
I'll never forget
I'll never forget
Take my heart (Take my heart)
Make it gray (Make it gray)
I'll never forget
I'll never forget
Take my heart (Take my heart)
Make it gray (Make it gray)
I'll never forget
I'll never forget
The last thing that I wanted was your company,
But still you came running back here anyway.
And the truth is that I'll never tell you anything
'Cause every time I try my words come out and kill me quick.
Crush (crush my dreams I'll fade away)
My dreams (crush my dreams I'll fade away)
As long as what you wanted was for me to be miserable,
I'm breaking down everyday, the sky is a new shade of grey.
Trying to say you're sorry when these were your intentions;
Can't take back what you've said. I'll never forgive, I'll never forget
(Cross my heart)
The last thing that I needed was your sympathy,
But you still showed it to me anyway.
You live for your excuses, and you should know by now
That every time you try your words come out and kill you quick.
Crush (crush my dreams I'll fade away)
My dreams (crush my dreams I'll fade away)
As long as what you wanted was for me to be miserable,
I'm breaking down everyday, the sky is a new shade of grey.
Trying to say you're sorry when these were your intentions;
Can't take back what you've said. I'll never forgive, I'll never...
Why don't you throw away everything to gain nothing at all
But one less person who cares if you end up dead....I'll just forget
Smiles and her laughter
It's the only thing that I've been waiting for a time
Regardless of our distance and our hope...grows greater
Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time
...the only thing that I've been waiting for.
I hope it's something worth the waiting
'Cause it's the only thought that I ever feel real
Thunder storms could never stop me
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily
She's simple yet confusing
Her sparkling eyes make me weak at my words, they tremble
Days seem like years in this month of December
The winter coldens me for I have yet to sleep
And never will I give up trying 'cause you're everything to me
I hope it's something worth the waiting
It's the only thought that I ever feel real
'Cause thunder storms could never stop me
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily,
There's no one in the world like Emily. |
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| Lost Like Tears In The Rain |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:07 am] |
I'm not in your house,
But not in your head,
You're not even listening.
It's so hard to know
When you're not scared.
Please don't help me,
Please don't hate me.
Stop putting me down,
Coz I won't ever understand.
I see it in your eyes
I see it in your mind.
I'm trying not to speak,
Coz you can't hear my voice,
Nothing seems familiar here.
On the other side
If I see this all again,
I'll try to take my time,
I wonder how fast you could try.
All this time I thought you knew
All this time I thought you knew.
I'm not from around here
I'll hold onto you but
I cant hold on to this day it's all gone
Waiting always untouched open
It came down to save us and end us all
Cause I'm under the outside
And over all
Cause I'm a thousand miles away
And I'm out of oxygen
And I'm falling faster than I'd like to be
And I'm closer to the sky
Than I'll ever be to you again
Find the exit signs and disappear
We were hated it seems we were all wrong
Find me bleeding peacefulness
We looked up to lose our way again
Cause I'm under the outside
And over allCause I'm a thousand miles away
And I'm out of oxygen
And I'm falling faster than I'd like to be
And I'm closer to the sky
Than I'll ever be to you again
Find the exit signs and disappear
Some things dont, some things dont
Some things dont, some things dont
Change
Fall
Born from angels
Lets start this all over again
With the same generation
Born from angels
Lets start this all over again
With the same generation
Born from angels
Lets start this all over again
With the same generation
It's neon-genesis
I woke up cold November,
It takes a lot to show my face around here.
I've only myself to blame.
I tried not to lose,
What I tried so hard to show to you.
How long, can I wait here?
I'm all torn, by your words.
I'm broken, yet we're still burning,
Just hold on till the end.
I've crossed out all the stars,
To try to show that she was once amongst them.
I've only myself to blame. |
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| Your My Heaven |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|04:56 am] |
Do you remember the time when you and i were fine hiding under the apple tree there was no one but you and me we would hide from passing cars and we would have the summer stars and we were better then than we'd ever been before you came back to me after walking out my door you would call me on the phone before you even got home without me you said you were all alone the cold wind that blows all the things i used to know
how could it play so fast never thought you'd be part of my past would i trade it all again to get you out of my head? cause we were better then than we'd ever been before you came back to me after walking out my door you would call me on the phone before you even got home without me you said you were all alone alone
without me by your side you said you were all alone give me one more chance to prove myself to you all the little things that i long to do ...(when you run away) would you trade the course ...(you said that you'd be) so that i could hold you ...(coming out my front porch) would it all go away ...(just to see me) and my heart is breaking would you hear me baby as the tears are longing for what it used to be We were only 15
I let her go like paper air planes How can I explain That Im lost without you around What If I never lost you I wouldnt have to find you all over and over (over and over) Your the one Ive, Ive always wanted The one that I just cant live without No one understands The meaning of your eyes And how I feel Burning deep inside What If I never lost you I wouldnt have to find you all over and over (over and over) Your the one Ive, Ive always wanted The one that I just cant live without Get the flyers up Have you seen the girl with my heart on her sweater Get the flyers up Have you seen the girl with my heart on her sweater my heart on her sweater Send her on my way Send it here to stay Sending light just like a star Tell me where you are
Where you are Sending light just like a star When you come to me Come today Embrace me and break me Embrace me and break me so go Your lost without Your lost without Your lost and found Your lost and found One more time in this game we play Sorry that I couldn't make you stay Placing pieces on the floor Of all the things that we loved before Like puddles, in the rain Like puddles, we wash away Hate me now so I can move on Make it easier to see that you're gone All the things they're gone too Turn and changed into memories Like puddles, in the rain Like puddles, we wash away New York City streets with friends by your side Telling stories in words who've left us behind All the things we'll never say Leaving like puddles in the rain Like puddles in the rain We wash away Like puddles in the rain We wash away "well show me, show me, show me how you do that trick the one that makes me scream," she said "the one that makes me laugh," she said, and threw her arms around my head "well show me how you do it and i promise you, i promise that i'll run away with you, i'll run away with you" we're spinning on that dizzy air i kiss your face, and kiss your hair i dreamed of all the different ways i have to let her know and scream, "why are you so far away?" she said, "won't you ever know that i'm in love with you, yeah, i'm in love with you." for you, that's soft and lonely you, lost and only you, strange as angels dancing in the deepest ocean existing in the world, you're just like a dream you're just like a dream will daylight whip me into shape? i must have been asleep for days and moving lips can breathe a name i opened up my eyes and found myself alone, alone
alone up on the ranges IT STOLE THE ONLY GIRL I LOVE and drowned her deep inside of me you, that's lost and only you, soft and lonely you, you're just like heavenWell I'm blowing smoke out of your window And you're slipping back into your dress You know you were always such a lady I've always been impressed
But gentlemen They don't ask questions Just keep quiet She'll pay attention Gentlemen don't ask questions We could pay attention I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Well I pictured you in blue But I have to say I'm more partial to the red Deep, dark, and devastating Leaving no question as to where you've been I calm the crowd by keeping quiet Move like a shadow up to your matress Gentlemen don't ask questions We could pay attention Do you think he'd be better ('Cause we're down for competition) Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better (This could all be on purpose) Doing what I do best? I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Do you think he'd be better Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better Doing what I do best? Do you think he'd be better ('Cause we're down for competition) Doing what I do best?
Do you think he'd be better (This could all be on purpose) Doing what I do best? I said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles
Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Said, "I'm gonna have myself in shambles Before your folks are up and looking for some answers." Your my lost and found |
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| my only one |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|04:54 am] |
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i hate that i feel this way, to want you like i do, its crazy i never know what to do i see you every day and i can't get through a day without seeing your face each and every day. |
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| I love you, if you only knew |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|04:47 am] |
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you (for you, so...) You need him. I could be him... I could be an accident but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him. Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. Someday I'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... {but for} the meantime I'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at 4:00 in the afternoon. You need him. I could be him... I could be an accident but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him.
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. (won't find out) he won't find out (won't find out) he won't find out Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. (he won't find out) Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. |
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| For My Only One |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|02:45 am] |
I've been sneaking glances and writing lines about you. What you think you can take back are the things that are going to haunt you. This time won't be the last time That I'm coming straight for your heart,
You know how I move. And if I must say, I know that I'm worth... More than you thought. You've never compromised without rolling your... I know you've completely torn apart the fact that we could be. I'm on the search, 2 floors high. I see the girl that I've been chasing after.
Wishin' her eyes would just reach mine. Please girl, you know exactly who I'm after. I can't begin to explain this infatuation that I've grown with you And all that has to do with every moment that I'm here and you're not. More than you thought. You've never compromised without rolling your... I know you've completely torn apart the fact that we could be. I'm on the search, 2 floors high. I see the girl that I've been chasing after. Wishin' her eyes would just reach mine.
Please girl, you know exactly who I'm after. And I thought that I would make it, But you escaped it. And you swore that you would take this somewhere, somewhere. Now I'm lost and you're just fakin' the way you played this. The escape game never seemed so cruel when... I'm on the search, 2 floors high. I see the girl that I've been chasing after.
Wishin' her eyes would just reach mine. Please girl, you know exactly who I'm after. |
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| I'm sick of it all |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|01:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hawthorne Heights | ] |
In the wake of determination I rise
Rise from the debris and decay
The world that crashed down
The fallen sky from over head
Everything painted pretty
From the decay breeds hatred
The world has come crashing down
My world
“Our world”
The one we built “together”
What is together?
Two people striving fro the same thing or
Two people tugging at opposite ends of a rope?
You tugged and pulled
Until I lay broken
Curled in the corner
Crimson dripping slowly
As my tears hit the floor
Crimson Tears
They fall
In unison
with my black bleeding heart
I will not let myself sink down again
Give Into your mad abuse
All you verbal attacks
I’m not listening anymore
I am closing the book on you
This is the final song
I’m sick of writing every song about you
Sick of recalling all the times
You screwed me over
I’m taking it all back,
All the promises I made
All the little things I said
Every smile, laugh, kiss,
I’m taking it all back
Go and give you shit to someone else
In the wake of determination I rise from the ashes…….. |
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| Why? |
[Nov. 26th, 2005|01:00 am] |
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Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have.. I'll never have.. I'll never... Standing so close knowing that I kills me to breathe you in.. standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in. But this table for one has become bearable. I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you. Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I cherish you. Just say that you would do the same for me.. just say you would do the same.. just say you would do the same for me. For as much as I love Autumn, I'm giving myself to Ashes.) Oh why cant I be what you need a new improved version of me but I’m nothing so good no I’m nothing just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs of violence of love and of sorrow I beg for just one more tomorrow where you hold me down fold me in deep deep deep in the heart of your sins I break in two over you I break in two And each piece of me dies And only you can give the breath of life But you dont see me, you dont... here I’m in between darkness and light bleached and blinded by these nights where im tossing and tortured til dawn by you, visions of you then youre gone the shock lifts the red from my face when I hear someone’s taking my place how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel when all, all that I did was for you I break in two over you I break in two and each piece of me dies and only you can give the breath of life but you dont see me you dont.. I break in two over you I break in two and each piece of me dies and only you can give the breath of life but you dont see me you don’t... I break in two over you I break in two over you, over you I break in two I would break in two for you now you see me now you don’t now you need me now you don’t |
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